I wish I could

This was an assignment Noah wrote for school:

Dear Mom,

I wish I could go back in time and fix all my mistakes; but the biggest blunder I want to fix is the time I broke the microwave.  

It all started a few days before I destroyed the microwave when Uncle Seth came over to see if we wanted to go see something cool in Portland.  Unfortunately, we couldn’t come.  Later that evening, he showed us a video online of what he did in Portland.  He was shooting a pumpkin cannon with some of his buddies from where he works.  Then he asked if we wanted to see something else cool and he asked if we had a spare CD.  He gave him a blank CD and he walked over to our microwave.  He told all of us to come to him.  He put the CD in the microwave and pushed the 5 button.  The CD was in the microwave for 2 or 3 seconds.  Then it got cool!  I can’t explain what it looked like, but the appearance of the CD made you want to do it again.  After 5 seconds the timer beeped and we took the CD out.  He handed the CD to me and I passed it around to all the kids in our family.  We each inspected it and we thought it was awesome.  I didn’t know it yet, but I was going to break our microwave by trying to repeat this amazing trick that my Uncle had taught me.  You were not too happy that he had shown us this trick, and you warned us that if anybody tried it again we would be in big trouble.

I was an 11-year-old boy.  I had just seen the most fantastic thing I could imagine in a microwave.  How was I supposed to never do that again?

A couple of days later, I grabbed another CD and ran to the microwave.  I opened the microwave and put the CD inside.  I set the timer for 10 seconds and pushed the start button.  The CD started to do the same thing it had done when Uncle Seth had done it; however, at 7 seconds, there was a really little fire on the CD.  I quickly stopped the microwave and waited a minute or two before I took the CD out.  I ran it through water and put it in my room.  The next morning, I cooked a burrito in the microwave, but the burrito was still cold after the time was up.  I cooked it again and it got a little warmer.  I realized that the microwave was slowly breaking.  Over the next couple of days, you noticed this as well.  Finally you asked me if I had just so happened to put another CD in the microwave.  I admitted that I had put a CD in microwave.  You got mad and gave me a huge punishment.  I learned to never do that again, and I never did it again.

I felt so horrible that I broke a $600 microwave with a 6-cent CD.  I wish that I could go back in time to take this moment back and that I had never put a CD in the microwave.  But I don’t have a Delorean to take me back to the future.  I am so sorry.

Love,

Your favorite son Noah

P.S. I think it was Seth’s fault also.

My marathon

Mark may be running the Boston Marathon on Monday, but I have begun a marathon of my own.  It's called "getting the house and kids ready for me to be gone for 10 days."

Bathrooms to scrub, kitchen drawers to organize, lunches and meals to plan for, bedrooms to clean, sheets to wash, laundry to do, taxes to get mailed off, bookkeeping to finish, and a schedule of every place kids need to be and what they need to have with them needs to be written.  I suppose I should pack a suitcase as well.

We'll see how much I can get done in the next 36 hours.  Last time we went to Boston I was up until 2AM finishing things.  We were leaving at 4AM and so I decided that I would be more messed up with an hour of sleep than I would be if I just stayed awake until the taxi arrived.  Hopefully this time around I will get to sleep the night before we leave.

I can't wait to go back to my favorite Boston places, and then go to New York for 5 days after the marathon.  We are taking Aubrey and Joel with us this time, and I can't wait to show them my two favorite cities.  They have no interest in history, but I won't let that slow me down.  I still plan to make them cover the entire Freedom Trail...and parts of it twice.  Off the freedom trail, I can't wait to trek back to Dorchester Heights in south Boston and show the kids where Henry Knox and his troops surprised the British with 60 scavenged Ticonderoga cannon on the morning of March 17, 1776.  That's where the picture above was taken 2 years ago.

Let's hope I can keep my footing this year and avoid a repeat of my faint and concussion and the feet of Paul Revere.  My boys are still a bit traumatized from that little incident.

Too soon

From this moment almost 19 years ago, I have been dreading what is coming up in just a few weeks.  I remember holding Abram at the hospital on the night he was born and saying to him, "How will I ever let you leave to go on a mission?"

Well, it's coming right up, and I still don't know how I will do it.

Originally, he was leaving May 15th, but yesterday we got news that they need him to report on May 1st.  Because he is already fluent in Spanish, he will be in an advanced class and only stay for 2 weeks in Provo.  He will be leaving to Mexico on the day he originally was to report to the MTC.

I think I am OK with everything, because I know he will be having an awesome time from the moment he sets foot in Mexico.  He is ready to jump in and help and serve however he can.  He absolutely loves the Mexican people and culture already and he could not have been called to a more perfect mission.  I can't wait for those weekly emails to start coming through.

The thing that breaks my heart the most is thinking about Savanna and Zack telling him goodbye for 2 years.  We have sort of broken them in with Abram being away at school, but he has always been one Skype away if they wanted to talk to him.  I think about them missing Abram, and knowing how long 2 years is to a little kid, and then I break down.

But we can do hard things!

It was sad to pack up all of Abram's belongings before he left for college, but I am glad we have that done so I don't have to go through that again.  Now I am just filling 2 suitcases with his exciting missionary wardrobe.

I hurried and finished up his shopping yesterday, as we no longer will have 2 weeks to get things done when he comes home after the semester. We will only have a weekend with him before he leaves us for his 2-year, 2-man fiesta.   Mark is giving him a suit from his closet to wear at the MTC.  Mark and Abram are exactly the same height and weight. The missionaries in Xalapa never wear suits, only dress pants and short-sleeved shirts, so Abram didn't want a brand-new suit.  Thanks to Ross and Costco, he is outfitted with 9 pairs of Calvin Klein dress pants and 9 no-iron, short-sleeved white shirts for around $400.  Take that, Mr. Mac.

The part of his wardrobe I worried most about was shoes.   I just couldn't send him on a mission in some huge clunky shoes that may last 2 years but will kill his feet. Abram worked at Danner Boots last summer in the warehouse, and he knew about some awesome shoes that he wanted.  He also knows that Danner fits his foot perfectly and he can work all day in them, so we went with that.  He will have his pretty shoes for church, but he will be trapesing all around Xalapa in these bad boys.

His list said to send him with a raincoat, umbrella and rainboots, but everyone we know who has been there says a raincoat is worthless (which we know from the hot summer rain in Belize), and everyone from Oregon knows that umbrellas are for wimps, and that instead of rainboots which will never be worn, he should take a good pair of black leather waterproof boots instead.  Done.  Who needs a missionary mall?

Just a few more things on my list.  I've got to get Abram ready before we leave for Boston next Thursday!

Silk Dyed Easter Eggs

We are in SLC for spring break, and we always like to do crafts with my mom while we are here.  My mom found this great idea online to dye Easter Eggs.  The blogs and tutorials online said to use mens ties that were 100% silk.  We scoured Deseret Industries for good ties, and had no luck. I figured that all the Salt Lake blogger-mommies had probably already seen this idea online and had scavenged all the pretty ties already.  So my mom had the idea to head over to the womens section to look for silk blouses.  

Boy, did we ever score!  Aubrey found this hideous silk outfit for $8, and we picked up two other bountiful blouses for $3 each.  We have enough silk for 3 years now! We cut all of the silk into 6" squares.

Here's how we dyed the eggs:

Wrap an uncooked egg very tightly in a 6" square of silk, with the right side of the fabric against the egg.  You should wrap it as tightly as possible.  Then use a small hair elastic to secure the silk at the top of the egg.  It has to be super tight because the dye will only transfer to the egg where there is direct contact.

After the egg is wrapped in silk, you wrap it again in a plain white cotton cloth and secure it once again with a small hair elastic.  We cut up some of my dad's old handkerchiefs to use as the outer wrapping.

 Fill a large pot with enough water to cover the eggs.  Add 1/4 cup of vinegar to the water.  Then place the eggs into the pot and bring to a boil.  When the water is boiling, set the timer for 20 minutes and let the eggs continue boiling for 20 minutes.

After 20 minutes, remove the wrapped eggs from the pot and place them on a cloth until they have reached room temperature.  Then you can remove the white cloth and the silk to see what magic you have just created!

When we did our eggs, the entire pot of water turned a dark purple.  I was sure that the eggs would all come out the beautiful reddish-purple color of Greek Easter eggs.  I was so pleasantly surprised to find that none of the purple from the water had dyed the eggs.  Only the dye from the silk had transferred to the eggs.  So don't freak out if your water turns a dark color, because your eggs are safe and sound inside of their wrappers.

Not so eco-friendly

I like my lightbulbs.  I like my house to be bright.  When we built our house, I had 18 can lights put into my kitchen ceiling, along with the two main light fixtures.  I light even, bright light everywhere in the house.  I like to have a shelf in our storage room full of lightbulbs so that when a bulb burns out, I know there is a replacement waiting for me to go get it.

I don't like fluorescent light in my house.  Fluorescent lighting is fine in a warehouse, business or bank.  But not in my house.

I have a problem with the government telling me that I am incapable of making appropriate lighting choices for myself.  If I want incandescent light, I should have the right to it.  If I want to use 100 watt lightbulbs, I should have the right to buy them as long as I am the one paying the utility bill to light them up!  But I am just a stupid common citizen who doesn't understand, which is why the government does not allow the sale of evil 100 watt lightbulbs anymore, because I should be just fine with 75 watts instead.

Our government has decided that it is not right for me to have 800 watts of light for my bathroom, and that it would be more equitable if I used only 600 watts instead.  But they really want to my only use 100 watts and put in crappy CFL lights.  Why is it anyone's business?  I need my light.  And I'm happy to pay for my light.

Anyway, I went to Home Depot on Saturday to stock up on bulbs.  We have a very high ceiling with 12 can lights in it, and when one goes out, I like to replace them all while I'm at it.  I had a cart full of evil incandescent bulbs, and I was stopped by at least 4 employees who tried to shame me into buying fluorescent bulbs.

"Do you really want to buy those incandescent lightbulbs?"
"Yes, I'm a big fan of Thomas Edison.  He's my hero."
"Do you  know how bad those are for the environment?"
"No, they're not.  Do you know that CFL bulbs contain mercury?  Is that good for the environment?"
"Well, CFLs last 10 times longer, so you don't have to dispose of them very often."
"That's funny, because when I bought some CFLs to give them a try, I had to replace them within just a few months.  And they cost about 10 times more money."
"But in the long run, you save money."
"I'd rather pay more money for electricity and have pretty, bright lights."
"Do you mean to say you don't want to save money?"
"Do you know how inconsequential the electrical savings are of lighting a CFL compared to a traditional bulb?  Factor in the time value of money when you pay $15 for each CFL (or $50 for the LED ones they were pushing) bulb rather than a few cents, and there really is no savings."
"What about the environment?  You're destroying the earth!  Don't you want to go green?"
"Not really.  I water my lawn like crazy in the summer, we use disposable plates and cups at my house, we heat with a wood stove, my kids use as much paper and tape for crafts as they want to, and I drive my car everywhere.  I will always pay more for something I love."

And so on.

And then I was hounded by a guy trying to get me to install solar panels.
"Have you ever wanted to save money on electricity?"
"Not really.  It is what it is."
"That evil corporation PGE is taking your money.  Don't you want to support a green energy business?  We install the solar panels at not cost to you."
"And then YOU take the electricity from my solar panels and sell it back to the evil corporation PGE?   Doesn't that make your company part of the evil?"

"But your electricity bill would be cut by at least 50%, and likely more like 90%.  Isn't that a good reason to have solar panels?"
"No way.  I would never do it."
"Why not?  Don't you care about money?"
"Yes, I do.  But I also care about what my house looks like.  Solar panels are super ugly."

He didn't have a comeback for that one.

Stitches

We have always had 2 rules about cars in our family.
1) NEVER play inside a car, and
2) NEVER climb up on top of a car.
Zachary and his friend from next door were outside playing last weekend, and the dad from next door was outside with the kids.  They asked if they could climb up on top of the car, and he said they could.

Well, the excitement was too great for Zachary to stay on the ground, and he climbed up onto the hood of the neighbor's car with his friend right behind him.  He then climbed up onto the roof of the car.  He stepped on the sunroof and it smashed into a million pieces, and Zack fell down into the car through the broken glass.
 

The neighbor girl came to get me, and when I got over there, the neighbor had already extracted Zack from the car (which was locked, making it tricky) and was cleaning up Zacky's bloody face.  He had 100 cuts all over his arms, hands, feet, legs, and a scrape on his chin.  I carried him into the house where we discovered his most severe injury--right on his booty!  I hadn't even noticed the slash in his shorts and boxers, but when I carried him into the house, that's the first thing that Mark and Abram saw.  There was about a 2.5" gash on Zacky's butt, and it needed stitches.
Abram went with me to the emergency room.  The doctor came in and asked Zack what had happened, and he said something like, "My mom has always told me to never play on top of cars, but today I did and now I know why I shouldn't do that."  The doctor asked Zack if he had learned his lesson.  Zack said, "Yeah, next time I want to get in a car, I will just use the door!"

Zack was super brave while he got stitched up.  Abram held his hands and tried to keep him from thinking about what was going on under the lights behind him.

8 stitches--and 2 hours--later, we headed back home with a very lucky boy.  He could have been hurt so much worse than he was.  I am so grateful that Zack didn't cut his face, neck, or anywhere that a scar would have been visible.  I can't believe he didn't break a bone falling into the car, either.  It could have been so bad, yet all he has to show for it is a scar on his booty.

My lucky cricket

"To Find a cricket on the hearth is the luckiest thing of all."

-Charles Dickens

My husband has finally joined the world of e-commerce and has figured out how to order things all by himself.  For years he would find things online, and then count on me to finalize the purchase.  He was sure it was very complicated.  He has entered the world of technology with a lot of trepidation...that's putting it mildly.  I figured it was good that he didn't dare to brave finalizing an order on his own, so I didn't push the issue.

One good thing about his new ability to order things online is that we now have a safe full of ammo while the stores around here are empty.  Also, he can order his running shoes whenever he is ready to retire his old pair (with 70 miles a week, it's pretty frequently).

He and I have an understanding that we don't really do surprises.  As we have the same budget, it just makes more sense to me to have the person buy exactly what he needs or wants.  I'm strange, I know.  He also knows that I don't like him to buy flowers... I would rather use the money to buy a plant for the yard or something.

But sometimes we find little things that are just really cool, and if they are not too much money, we buy them for each other.

Sometimes I get awesome surprises.  Maybe some girls wouldn't get too excited about Weather Watchers or Aurora Borealis 2013 calendars, but I thought they were the greatest things ever!  He picked them out for me, and they were exactly what I would have picked for myself.

This week I got an awesome bronze cricket in the mail.  We have never had a hearth, but last month we had a wood stove and a hearth installed in the basement, and I love it.  For anyone who has ever been to Girls Camp with me, or if you have ever been to a summer evening party at my house, you know that I LOVE to build fires.

A few years ago when Mark was in a mood to try reading some fiction, I had him read "A Christmas Carol."  He loved it,  and I suggested that he read "A Cricket on the Hearth" next, as it was short and in the same book.  He didn't enjoy that story as much, but he knew that I loved the symbolism of protection and good fortune that a cricket on the hearth means.

As Mark was shopping for some fireside accessories, he stumbled upon this beautiful cricket and ordered it. 

I totally love it.