Monday, November 29, 2010

Swimming diary

I have been swimming laps at the pool near our house on and off over the past 10 years or so. I was on and off for years, until this last summer when I got injured running. I've been pretty regular at the pool since then.

The people at the pool fascinate me. Astonishingly, a few of the people I see there each morning are the same people who were swimming 10 years ago. Some come to swim, some come to socialize. Most of the people I see there now are new, or are sporadic, or come once and I never see them again.

Swimming for 45 minutes gives you a lot of quiet time to think and to notice the people swimming. I have learned a few things.

1. No matter what, you just have to admire anybody who gets up early and puts on a swimsuit, no matter what their swimming technique or length of workout.
2. Some people go to the pool to swim--others go to socialize while wearing swimwear.
3. To burn calories swimming, you've really got to bust your butt.
4. The group of old women who "swim" every morning and then go out to breakfast never get thinner.
5. 99% of the men who wear speedos should not do so. Have they not heard of jammers? So much more appropriate and easier on the eyes for the onlookers.
6. The creepy guy hanging out pretending to swim laps is looking for a guy to go hot tubbing with.......
7. Be polite, because the lady showering next to you might just end up in front of you in line when you go to the grocery store after you leave the pool. Or the man in the lane next to you might be your son's school teacher.
8. Sometimes, you might end up standing naked next to your child's friend from high school in the locker room.....awkward........
9. If the lanes are full, the slowest swimmer will always choose to jump into my lane.
10. Don't smile or try to be nice to the lady in the far right lane. She will try to incenerate you with her eyeballs.
11. Running 20 yards through freezing cold air in a swimsuit to get to the domed outdoor pool is one way to make the water seem not so cold when you jump in.

There are a few odd people, such as:
A mustached man who comes right at 5:35 and swims for 10 minutes. Then there is a woman who arrives separately and gets in the lane right next to him at about 5:45. They face each other and hang onto the wall and talk for 30 minutes. Then he swims for about 10 minutes and leaves. She leaves soon after. It's weird. And creepy. Why would anyone get out of bed that early in the morning to go hang out it a cold pool and talk? Isn't the hot tub more appropriate venue for that?

The stretchers. Stretchy and Purple Speedo. That's what I call them. Stretchy swims 3 lengths of the pool, climbs out on the far side and does stretches in his speedo for 20 minutes, then jumps back in the pool and swims the length back, climbs out and stretches again for about 5 minutes. He's thin, but it's a little disturbing to watch somebody stretch in a speedo. Purple speedo is an older guy, not really thin, who wears a purple speedo. He also likes to stretch before he swims. These guys both stare at me when I swim. I think they think I'm a freak because I spend the whole time actually swimming. I'm swimming when they arrive, and I'm still swimming when they leave.

I go to the pool to swim. And to people-watch. I don't really talk to anybody, and I don't stretch. I swim, I shower, I get dressed and I leave.

2 comments:

nanadover said...

Ok...now I have the image of purple speedo stuck in my brain...sigh.

Melissa said...

THAT is hilarious! Thanks for putting a smile on my face today!