Precious

Savanna loves pink. And she loves to be a cowgirl. She has pink boots, a pink holster, a pink gun, and a very foxy pink hat. This is what she wore for Christmas Eve. It wasn't a costume party. She just dressed up in her finest for the occasion.

When Savanna was a baby, the kids and I called her Precious. Mostly it was from The Lord of The Rings. We hadn't had a baby girl for 8 years, so it really was precious to have her here after 3 boys in a row.

The nickname stuck, and she answers to "Precious." Some of her other nicknames are: Nannabelle, Zanna, Belly-boo, Belle, or her favorite, "Savanna Precious Angel Girl."

Mythbusters

Thanks to my football game-forced upgrade on Dish Network, we now get Discovery Channel. Over Christmas, we watched Mythbusters. All day, every day. It was on a lot, and we have DVR, so in 2 weeks we were able to watch dozens of episodes. I am so impressed with the concept of the show. If everyone in the world watched it, I believe the world would be at peace.

Mythbusters takes the "Scientific Method" which we all learned about in 7th grade, and applies it to real-life situations. If someone truly understands the scientific method, then that person understands cause/effect relationships and problem solving, leaving no room for misunderstandings. The show also teaches you that things don't always go like you expect them to, and when that happens, you learn from it. Besides that, who doesn't love to see things get blown up?

The kids loved the episode when we learned that Mentos+Diet Coke=explosion. So for New Years Day, Mark took the kids to Albertsons and they each got a 2 liter of Diet Coke, and some Mentos mints. They used the top 1/2 of an empty 2 liter for a funnel to get the Mentos into the full bottle of Diet Pepsi, and each kid got a chance to make a really cool fountain on the patio.

The Lost Tooth Club

There is an elite social stratum in first grade called "The Lost Tooth Club." Noah has been discouraged all year because he has not been able to write his name on the poster hanging on the wall in his classroom and become a member of this club. He is 6 1/2, and he just lost his first tooth the night before school started after Christmas Break. He was so excited to write his name on the poster. I think he is our child who was the oldest when losing his first tooth. He has been asking us for years if he had a loose tooth yet, and we always told him "No. Sorry. Not Yet." And then he had one tooth that started to get wiggly.

Noah had heard Abram talk about the time he lost a tooth by eating an apple. So Noah starting having apples for snacks and frequently as possible. And then he was successful one night. He was cheerily eating his apple at the bar, and he turned it around for me to see, and he calmly asked, "Mom, is it OK if my apple has some blood on it?" I knew it was almost time for that tooth to come out. One look told me it was time to call in the parent who can handle bloody situations. Mark came into the kitchen, and took Noah upstairs, where a little bit of floss helped that tooth come right out.

And then the best part. "Mom, you know that I know that the tooth fairy is not real, so will you just put the $2 in my bank account?"

Noah got to write his name on the poster at school. There were 7 other kids who lost teeth over Christmas Break, so Noah had much to tell when he came home from school that day.

Lolly, Lolly, Lolly get your adverbs here!

My kids are freaks. It is all because I am a freak, too. Somewhere along the line I became a word nerd. Actually I know precisely where and when--it was in Mrs. Jacobs's sophomore english class at Skyline High School in the lovely year of 1987. That was a great year. We celebrated 200 years of the United States Constitution, I had really cool bangs, my family took a raging vacation for 3 weeks in the family station wagon across the United States, and I fell in love with the inner workings of the English language.

Somehow I passed this grammar-freak gene along to my kids. My sister pointed this out over Thankgiving when Savanna, who is 4, said, "I have to go to the bathroom so BADLY!" Her proper use of adverbs is unusual for a four-year-old. Actually it is unusual for 99% of Americans. Perhaps I paid too much attention to School House Rock when it was on each Saturday morning between Scooby Doo and Land of the Lost. But Lolly, Lolly, Lolly Get Your Adverbs Here stuck in my brain. And somehow my grammar lessons stuck with the kids.

The kids say, "I will hold it very carefulLY," or "I want it so badLY," and "I can do it quickLY," "Look, I drew this perfectly," and "I can jump off of this easiLY."

Now if I can just help Savanna with her past-participles I'll be all set. But it is still cute to hear, "Mom, I drawded this picture for you," "I put-ed my gloves on all by myself," and "Guess what I dreamded about last night?" It helps me remember she is a little girl, and they grow up too fast---I mean quickLY!

Jill the repairman....I mean woman

Another story that some of you might have read... but not all of you! This one happened right before Christmas.

I was thinking that my pants were starting to be baggy and hang a little lower because my last 10 pounds of Zachary is finally starting to go away (5 more to go). But then I realized I was just trying to fit into my new role as appliance repair man.My dryer stopped working last week, after 5 1/2 years of diligent service (you realize this is like a dryer lasting another family 12 years). It would spin, and clothes would dry after about 3 hours, but there was no heat. Everyone said I should just buy a new one, and be glad that we got as much use out of it as we did. However, it is Christmas, and there are a lot of things I would like to buy right now, and a dryer is not on the list. So I strung a labyrinth of ropes in the basement, and hung the clothes on the line last week on laundry day. This was 9 people's clothes, and it took up a lot of space. So I put on my repairman pants and got to work.I have no idea how anything works, other than you push a button and it performs its intended function. So then while Mark was at work on Thursday, I took the dryer apart to see what was going on.I took the dryer front off, and started it up. I watched the ignitor glow, then the flame started, but then went away after 10 seconds and stayed off. Then I turned to my trusty laptop, and googled my problem. I narrowed it down to 2 parts that could be faulty.So I called a repair shop and found out it would be $300, $100 parts and $200 labor, to fix it. Then I looked online, and realized I could buy the parts for $30. So I did. As the pile at the bottom of the laundry chute was up to my shoulders by this time, and I was desperate, I paid an additional $40 to have them overnighted. The parts came Friday afternoon, and Mark was willing to install them, but I wanted to finish what I had started. So he watched in awe as I dismantled the dryer in about 15 seconds, unplugged and unscrewed the old flame sensor, installed the new flame sensor and tested the dryer. As luck would have it, that was not the part that was the problem. So then Mark loaned me his muscles to unscrew 2 very tight screws on the gas valve coil cover. We installed the 2 new coils, tested, and VOILA! We had a functional dryer.Today is laundry day again, and I'm doing a little happy dance each time I pull out a batch of nice warm clothes from the dryer.

The party that almost wasn't

Sorry for you Bradleys who have heard this story. I had to post it for my family and anyone who didn't know what a big dork I am. This happened in December:

We are not big sports fans here at our house. So when Abram came home from school early last week to ask if he could have a Civil War party Saturday, I thought: north and south, blue and grey, Appomattox Courthouse, etc. Then he told me he was talking about football.So we have the Oregon Ducks and the Oregon State Beavers here, and people go CRAZY about their schools.
Growing up in Salt Lake, and going to BYU, I understand the college rivalry thing. But I have no interest in Ducks or Beavers. I mean, who picked those animals for mascots anyway? At least the beaver is an industrious animal, but the duck?Anyway, their big football game, called The Civil War, was Saturday. So I made up some invitations for Abram and Aubrey, and they invited 35 of their closest friends to come watch the game and eat all sorts of tasty cookies. Abram decided to be a Beaver fan (Oregon State) because "all the hot chicks like the Beavers."

So the party started at 1:00 and kickoff was at 1:30. At 1:10 some guys asked me if they could turn on the TV, so I said, "Sure."Then I heard the bad news....."You don't have ESPN.""No, we don't." What do these boys care about which satellite programming package we have (I'm cheap, OK).Then I realized what they were saying. We needed ESPN 2 to watch the game. It never donned on me to check if the biggest game in the state was on one of our channels.

I had horrible thougts running through my mind as I imagined Abram at his high school reunion 25 years from now as people still laughed at him because he invited everyone over for a party and we didn't even have the channel we needed.Fortunately, we had been having trouble with our dish recently, so I knew the number, and the quick way through their annoying telephone menu. I got a friendly chap from India who quickly upgraded our programming package for one month so that I didn't have to send 35 kids home to spread the news about Abram's lame party. By kickoff time we had ESPN 2, and the game was actually interesting to the last of the second overtime.Hooray for Dish Network!

uh-oh

It always has amazed me with 1-year-olds how much can be communicated with the simple word uh-oh.

Zachary is a champ, and may hold a world record at effectively communicating his needs and wants with this caveman-like, 2-syllable utterance.

It can mean "my hands are dirty," "I spilled, "or "I dropped something." Even more entertaining is when he says, "Uh-oh" while holding something that he is in the process of throwing. A pre-meditated uh-oh. It can mean I handed him something he didn't want, or I put the wrong shirt on him. Today it meant, "Sorry, Mom. I still had a mouthfull of Oreo slime when I did a running dive onto your pillow and smeared smooshy black stuff all over your pillowcase."

His YES nod is the cutest thing I have ever seen, because he nods really big, and his eyebrows go up and down while he is nodding.

The saddest UH-OH I ever heard was from baby Joel. He had been a little cranky one day, so I put him into bed knowing that he wasn't feeling very well, and figuring he was ready for a good night sleep. When I went in about 1/2 hour later to check on him, he sat up in his bed in the middle of a huge puddle of vomit. He said, "Uh-Oh, Mom." I felt so bad. He hadn't cried or made a sound. I guess he was really tired--and obviously really sick, too.

And do you hear and answer every child's prayer?

My last post reminded me of two stories that I wanted to post as a reminder to me that prayers are literally answered.



A few years ago we were preparing to go to Canada with all the kids. We needed all of their birth certificates in order to cross the border. I gathered up everyone's, but I could not find Jacob's. I had each child's certificate in his or her "baby book", but I couldn't even find Jake's book. I looked for days, and there was just nowhere else to look. I knew that the border agents would likely take one look at Jake and know that he had to come from the same family, because all of our kids look so much alike. But really, I needed his birth certificate.



The night before we were leaving, I was kneeling saying my evening prayer. I asked for help finding Jake's birth certificate. Immediately, I got a picture in my mind of a dresser we had in the back corner of the basement. I ran downstairs to the dresser and started madly going through the drawers. They were all empty. I looked on top, where a couple of random boxes were sitting, and still had no luck. And then as I turned in disappointment to leave, I saw there was ONE box on the floor right next to the dresser I had seen in my mind. This box had never been unpacked when we moved into our house a few years before. Sure enough, it was the box that had all of Jake's baby books in it.



The next one happened just a few months ago. Mark brings home the bank deposit from the dental office, and I usually take it to the bank the next day. Sometimes I don't make it there for a few days, but I keep the deposit by my purse so I can remember to take it with me when I'm going to be running errands. One day I got ready to go to the bank, and I could not find the envelope with all of the checks in it. There was over $1200 worth of money in that envelope, and it had disappeared. I panicked, and looked everywhere for it. And then I prayed and asked for Heavenly Father to help me know where that money was. I instantly saw the 90-gallon recycling rollcart in my mind. We have 9 people in our family, and that translates to a lot of trash, and a lot of recycling--90 gallons worth. But the picture I saw was clearly of the recycling rollcart--not the garbage at least.

So I went outside and started digging. Sure enough about 1/2 way down through all the paper and cardboard and milk cartons was the envelope I had been looking for! I had carelessly mixed up this important envelope with all the junk mail I had put into the recyling.

These experiences really taught me that Heavenly Father is truly there waiting for me to ask for help. He must roll his eyes sometimes as I brainlessly muddle through the day sometimes, when things would be a lot easier if I asked for help to begin with. Anyway, I am truly grateful that he is there not only to help me keep track of things, but also to help me deal with the unexpected things that life sends my way.

The case of the see-through retainer

This is just a random picture from this past summer and it has nothing to do with the story. I'm at the back of the picture hiding my wet-suited booty from the camera.

Here's the story:

Abram got his braces off about 2 months ago. He had to wear his retainer day and night for the first 8 weeks, and then last week we went back and they told him to only wear it at night. He was so excited. It took a lot of mental energy to keep track of that retainer when you had to take it out to eat. He had a perfect system worked out: contacts in---retainer out, contacts out--retainer in.

So he did alright for a few days. And then Tuesday night he came down and asked me if I knew where his retainer was. I suggested that he go look in the bathroom again, because he swore he left it in its usual spot that morning. He returned empty-handed again.

So I gave him my usual, "If I have to come up there and find it for you it will cost you $1." That trick usually works when someone claims he or she cannot find an item, and I tell them where it probably is, and they say they already looked there. "If I have to come show you where it is, it will cost you." I only had to collect from Jacob a couple of times before he figured out I knew what I was talking about, and I meant what I said. Abram, on the other hand, has never taken me up on it. He always goes back and looks, and there it is.

So I went up and looked through the bathroom. No retainer. I looked through his bedroom and was again unsuccessful. Wednesday night came, and it still hadn't turned up. So I called the orthodontist yesterday morning to schedule a time for Abram to come in and get a new retainer made--and let Abram pay for it. And then I thought, "This is insane. That retainer has to be here in the house." I had dug through the trash in the bathroom, and had looked everywhere--at least I thought so.

I said a prayer, and asked for help finding that retainer. I then noticed that Zachary was playing in his usual spot at the Thomas the Train table in the upstairs loft near the bathroom. I immediately realized that Zachary must have grabbed that retainer out of the bathroom and carried it around with him, probably trying to shove it in his mouth like Abram. So I dug through the drawers under the table, and looked through all the track on the table. No retainer. I moved to the other side to look from a different perspective, and had the same result. Just as I was thinking it was hopeless, I put my hands on the floor to push up from my knees, and what did I find? The see-through retainer, perfectly camoflauged on our cream carpet. I had been within one inch of kneeling on it!

Abram is happy, because he saved $100 which the orthodontist would have charged for a new retainer. In this case, where I actually couldn't find the thing either, I didn't charge my usual $1 fee.

A big owie!

Yesterday I had a very crazy experience. I was doing my hair (which takes about 2 minutes) and Zachary was in the bathroom with me. I put down the flat iron and looked down at Zachary who had emptied one of my drawers that I thought was safe. His hand was covered in blood and he was shaking it all over the bathroom. I quickly picked him up and put his hands under some running water. He thought I was just being nice because splashing in the sink is his favorite thing to do. I got him cleaned off and could see the blood was pouring from a cut on the tip of his middle finger. I looked back at the floor and saw my toenail clippers--unopened, but covered in blood. Somehow he had been attempting to clip his nails, and rather nearly cut the top of his finger off.

Sadly my first reaction when I saw this wasn't, "I wonder how deep this cut it." Rather it was, "YUCK! What more disgusting thing could you cut your finger with than toenail clippers?" My mind started running wild thinking that I must watch Zachary closely for some type of flesh-eating bacteria or blood poisoning. My toenails aren't that gross, though.

I knew that I had to get his finger to stop spurting blood. Surprisingly, Zack was not crying at all at this point. I ran for the other bathroom where we have paper towels. There I saw Savanna in the aftermath of pooping, and she needed immediate parental assistance. So I set Zachary down, and he started shaking his hand wildly trying to get the blood off. It went everywhere, and Zack started to realize something was wrong. I helped Savanna as quickly as I could, scooped up Zack and started applying pressure to his finger with the paper towels. At this point Zachary started screaming. He realized something hurt, and he was sure I was hurting him. It hadn't hurt him at all until I started trying to get it to stop bleeding. So he kept trying to get away, which made it bleed even faster. I finally laid him on his bed where I could hold him down with my leg while I used one had to hold the paper towels over the bleeding finger, and the other arm to hold his one arm still. With his free arm, Zachary started punching me as hard as he could trying to get me to let go of him. I know he thought I was the one making it hurt. I was sure I was going to have a broken nose. He was inconsolable, and he sucks his left thumb, which I was holding as far away from him as possible.

I held Zack down for about 15 minutes before he fell asleep from exhaustion. I was then able to really get the pressure on his cut, and it went back together pretty well. I left him there sleeping. I didn't dare to bandage it up, because I knew he would do more damage to it trying to rip the bandage off that he could just running around and being his crazy self.

When he woke up from his nap, he gave me Zacky snuggles, and his finger is fine now.

Tropical paradise, here we come!

Today Mark and I did something that most people have done much earlier in life than we did: we submitted our applications for passports. My family is all going to Belize later this year, so we finally had a reason to get passports.

My sister let us know that Costco had $5 passport photos. So we swung by Costco this morning, and 10 minutes later we were back in the car on the way to the aiport post office, which was only 5 minutes away from Costco. I thougth we'd be home in no time. I had our birth certificates; I had filled out our passport applications online and printed them; I had written out the checks to the appropriate government agency. We were ready.

So we show up at the post office at 11:00 in the morning. I have been to this post office before, and have always sped through the line. They are built for speed there, with 15 windows. However, today there were 2 people working--one guy doing passports and one guy doing postal stuff. We had the 3 youngest kids with us, so we all sort of squished into the room, as the line was already to the door. There were a ton of people with their passport applictions, and a bunch of people just mailing things. Who actually waits in line to mail things anymore? Haven't they heard of CLICK AND SHIP? The postman actually comes to your door and picks up the package for free!

We were there for 20 minutes before either of the 2 postal employees had finished the passport or mailing he was working on. Then things sped up, and 40 minutes later we were at the front of the line. Some joker came in and stood in front of us and told us he was there for a passport, and so he would start a passport line next to us and be the next in line to go to the passport guy. I quickly asserted myself and told him that he could wait at the back of the one line, because we had waited 40 minutes and were next for passports. I'm usually pretty polite, but I didn't even bother today. The three kids were totally out of control by this time, and Noah and Savanna were re-enacting their favorite Nacho Libre wrestling scene.

Our application process only took 5 minutes, but we were at the post office for an hour. I know that in a few months when I'm soaking up the sun, cave tubing and snorkeling in Central America, I will completely have forgotten my hostility about the inefficiency of the post office.

Best Christmas Toys

First is the HotWheels 4-Lane Raceway. At first I almost returned this, because even though I got it for $15, it seemed like a lot to pay for a bunch of plastic. But this is probably the most-played-with toy we got this year. ALL 5 of the boys (13 years old down to 1) love this toy. It's like a 6-foot long Pinewood Derby track for 4 Hotwheels. You line them up, pull the lever, and they race down through the finish line. Not fancy, no batteries, no noise (except for exhuberant screams from the racers)

This is also a great buy. The Brio Labyrinth. We bought it for our 8-year-old, but all ages from 40 down to 4 have had a blast with this. It is very well made, with mortise and tenon corners. We paid about $38 for it, and it will last forever. I am incapable of getting the ball past #3, but all the kids (and the Dad) have played with this daily trying to make it farther than the last time.

Stay alive (below) is one game I played with my brother countless times as a kid. I found this at backtobasicstoys.com, and our kids love it. You pull one lever on each of your turn, trying to make the other players balls fall through, while keeping yours on top. 4 can play at a time, which is a big bonus at our house.

We had this clock at my house growing up. I loved to wind it up, listen to "My Grandfathers Clock" play, and watch the little windows show what a little girl should be doing at each time of the day. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw this at Target last November. I snatched one up for Zack, and never saw them again at the store. Lots of online places have it, though. When we visit my mom's house, Zack heads straight for the toys, and gets this clock out. The oldie was made of wood and weighs a ton, which isn't so good for little toes. But this new one is lightweight, and has the same internal mechanism. The song is not annoying like so many wind up toys. Kids of all ages like this silly old clock.

It killed me to pay $12 for this, but I knew how much Savanna would love it, so I did it anyway. She loves HSM, and knows every word to every song. She sings all day in her very, very loud voice. So I couldn't pass this microphone up. It is still working 10 days after Christmas, which is more than I expected. It plays 2 HSM songs and amplifies your voice as you sing along. Or you can just use the microphone without the song. The other boys won't admit it, but they love this toy, too.

A new form of motivation

Abram and Aubrey got ipods for Christmas. They soon discovered that the CD collection Mark and I amassed in the early 90s was really not what they wanted to have on their nanos. Basically if the music was recorded after 1992, we haven't heard of it. But Mark is a great connoisseur of 80s music--he even impresses me sometimes with his random knowledge of the guitar player's names from various bands. John Denver, Air Supply and Chicago might have been really fun to listen to on my Sony Walkman in 1984, but they just don't make the playlist onto the nano. Duran Duran, Erasure, Alphaville, A-ha, Tears for Fears, INXS, Eurythmics, The Police.....the kids think we're crazy when we pull out our CDs. When I unwrapped an electric blanket from my parents for my Christmas present and got excited, Abram said, "Mom, you really are getting old." Yes, I am. But Mark is even older.

So we enlisted Aunt Meg to give the kids a list of good bands and songs to steer their itunes eyes to. She emailed them some good ideas. But the kids are wise spenders, and have yet to go crazy on itunes. They save their money, and only buy when necessary. But our lack of teenage-appropriate music, and their desire for it, have created a hunger.

Anyway, I have discovered the past couple of days that the kids will do anything for a new song. It's fantastic. Mop the kitchen floor. Vacuum the car. Massage my left rhomboid muscle for 10 minutes. You name it...they will do it for a song!

Must be Santa, Santa Claus

Santa doesn't come to our house. Despite the fact that Santa came to my house as a little girl, and he brought us very fantastic things and was a fun part of Christmas, and I suffered no emotional distress when I discovered he was not real, for some reason I just can't do it with my own kids. Santa is seen by our kids as a symbol of giving and love and making other people happy at Christmas. We read stories about him, we love movies about him, but our kids know from the time they can walk that he is just pretend. Mark's parents didn't do Santa when he was a kid, either.

Our kids don't get shafted in the gift department, though. They still have a pile of presents waiting for them when they come down the stairs on Christmas morning. The only difference is that our kids know that Mom and Dad worked very hard to buy those presents. Not some myserious man who doesn't even know them. The only problem is when the kids are about 5-6 years old and discussing the nature of Santa Claus with their contemporaries. Our kids have orders to not tell other kids that "Santa is a phony" (Noah's favorite description). But sometimes they just have to say something. Savanna got into some pretty intense discussions with her friend this year. I've had parents get really crabby at me for not perpetuating the lie about Santa and forcing them to make up a story to cover for whatever my kid said. I say Bah, Humbug! You were feeding them a bunch of lies anyway, what is one more?

One of our employees has a son who said all he wanted this year was a Wii. She could not find one to buy, and she told him that it was very hard to find one. He begged, and promised that was the only thing he wanted for Christmas. The mom said, "Well, it would be the ONLY thing you get if we can find one." The little boy said, "That's OK, Mom. Santa can bring all the other presents."

Another friend as a child wanted something really expensive for Christmas. The parents nicely tried to explain that was just too much money and they could not get it for her. She stormed out saying, "I'll just ask Santa for it. He loves me!" That year, Santa started bringing their family socks and underwear.